dude. chill.

So, it’s been awhile. A LONG while, actually.

I’ve been wanting to post something, anything, over the past month, but never had the time to finish anything I started.

I can honestly say that this is the busiest I’ve been, probably ever. But that’s OK, because truthfully, I enjoy being busy! However, between trying to make it through the 8-week semester of OB/Maternity plus an online Economics class, preparing and fundraising for my Africa trip (of which my $3,000 goal was reached in just 4 weeks, thanks to everyone’s incredible generosity), starting a new job at one of the nation’s top hospitals, all while trying to remain at least a tiny bit SANE, its been a…challenge, to say the very least.

I don’t know about you, but when I’m so busy that my life needs a continuous to-do list, and I live off of 5-Hour Energy and AMP, I have a tendency to…ya know…

Stress a little bit…

Energy problem…

OK…maybe more than a little bit.

I’ve noticed that different people react to stress in different ways. Some of you may turn to ESPN, or the Bachelorette. Others may grab a bottle of wine, or a 6-pack of Blue Moon and a red box. Others may read…for fun (I’ve found myself doing this more…it’s how I know I’m getting old). Maybe you sit down and eat everything in sight. Or maybe you’re the type who cooks everything in the pantry, and then leaves it for everyone else to devour.

But me? When I’m stressed, I clean. I reach a breaking point, where I physically can’t sit and do any more work until my surroundings are clean. I blame this on two things: 1. my teenage sister, who doesn’t seem to know what a trashcan or a laundry basket is, and 2. my dog, and the ridiculous amount of hair that he sheds. Honestly, I don’t understand where it all comes from. And I’m pretty sure he does it on purpose…RIGHT after I vacuum. It’s insane how much hair accumulates in our house, even with the amount of vacuuming I do. I’ve actually considered wrapping him in saran-wrap so that no more hair will come out. I haven’t gotten around to trying it out yet, but I’ll let you know how that one goes.

Anyway, back on track…

I’ve also found that when I’m extremely busy, not only do I tend to stress, but I start to worry.

• Maybe I don’t have what it takes to succeed at this incredible job opportunity.
• Maybe I’m not smart enough to make it through nursing school.
• Maybe I’ll be too mentally and emotionally weak to handle whatever I will face during the Medical Mission trip to Kenya.
• Maybe my skepticism and high expectations, and the mere reality that (as far as I’ve seen) there are so few capable Christian men on this earth, will cause me to be single forever.

I’ve seen it in more places than just my own life. And you may deny the fact that you do the same, but get real..when life gets busy, we stress and we worry.

But why??

Why do we think that we’re so important?

 If you ask me, (even if you DON’T ask me), what we need is to just get over ourselves.

Worry and stress REEK of arrogance. All you are saying when you stress is, “The things I’m involved in are important enough to merit impatience, lack of grace toward others, and a tight grip of control.” What if someone said those words to you? I can tell you that if someone said that to me, I’d probably just laugh…right before poking them with a needle to deflate their ego.

It’s so funny that we justify our stress and worry because we think our responsibilities are so insanely important. As if the world would end if it wasn’t for us. Let’s be real…unless you’re trying to protect a secret nuclear bomb, or you’re creating a cure for (no, not cancer), the obesity epidemic, the future of mankind doesn’t depend on you and whether you check everything off this week’s to-do list.

We live so caught up in ourselves, we forget that life is just a vapor; a mist that appears for a little time, and then vanishes. We don’t even know what tomorrow holds! Why do people assume that if they floss each day that they’ll add 6 years to their life?  I’ve had a lot of people asking me lately what I want to do after I graduate, and some people find it almost criminal that I. Don’t. Know. Why is it so crazy that I have no idea where I’ll be or what I’ll be doing 8-10 months from now? I may not even be alive in 8 months (no, you don’t need to notify social services). Of course, there are things I feel drawn to, like inner city Emergency Medicine, and more extended medical mission work…but that’s still a long way off. Why worry about it now?

I’ve been realizing how important it is to just take a breath, and focus on accomplishing one thing at a time, taking one step at a time, and remember that I am equipped for the challenges in my life. How boring would life be if we didn’t get tossed about every now and then? So many people sit in their tiny little metaphorical row boat, in their freshly pressed blouse, with their hair perfectly done up, and then when the current picks up, they have a minor panic attack, completely ruled by their fears.

Dude. Chill.

I just refuse to waste my life like that.

It’s EASY to live a guarded, safe life. One of always feeling the need to be in control. One of never taking any risks because of the fear of what could happen. Last I checked, the people who live this way don’t usually end up doing much for themselves or anyone else in their lifetime.

“If you read history you will find that the Christians who did the most for the present world were just those who thought most of the next.” – C. S. Lewis

I don’t want to live a life of constantly worrying about what may happen if I do this, or caring what certain people will think if I say or do or wear or Tweet that. Who freakin’ CARES?

It’s not about the circumstance you’re in. It REALLY isn’t. I love that saying:

“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” – Charles R. Swindoll

Taken from the extended version,

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company…a church…a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past…we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you…we are in charge of our attitudes.”

So, I find myself faced with two options:

1. I could focus on the hard parts, the set backs, and the discouragements, while I plan my own pity party, where I can sit and wallow in defeat, and build frustration over the unsteadiness of life…

OR

2. I could choose to focus on how much I’ve grown, the friends I’ve made, the lives I’ve touched, the things I’ve learned, and the opportunities and adventures ahead of me. I could take myself and others less seriously, and refuse to let their words and actions throw me off. I could choose to thank God for even the difficulties that arise, instead of just the happy things, with the peaceful reassurance that what’s happening is for a larger purpose than my tiny little brain could ever comprehend.

So here’s to letting ourselves laugh at unpredictability, at awkwardness, at discomfort, and at things that scare us. Because, most likely the world isn’t coming to an end. And chances are, we’ll end up looking back on our impatience, anger, or panic and laugh at how stupid it made us look.

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” – Elizabeth Kubler Ros

– Jess